The Pickle Nazi

I worked retail for a big part of my life.  I was trained that "the customer is always right."  Apparently, that is not the case any more--at least not at Jimmy John's sandwich shops.  Remember the old Burger King slogan, "Have it your way!"  Well apparently Jimmy John's slogan is "Have it MY way!"  I know it sounds like I'm mad and ranting.  But I'm really not.  I'm blogging about this because I found my experience with Jimmy John's today so hilarious.

Jimmy John's slogan is actually "Freaky Fast."  I think they are just plain freaky.  Here is what happened.  I walked in and ordered a sandwich, a pickle and a drink.  Close to 10 bucks.

There was enough lettuce on my sandwich to feed a barn full of horses (apparently to disguise the pitiful amount of meat on the sandwich), so I asked for some salt and pepper.  Answer:  "We don't have salt or pepper."  Sounds freaky cheap to me.

But I let that go and sat down to eat.  I looked at my pickle (a whole, unsliced dill pickle) and thought it would be nice to cut off a few slices and put them on my sandwich.  So I went back up to the counter and asked for a plastic knife.  Answer:  "We don't have plastic knives."  The employee I asked had a metal knife sitting right next to him on the counter so I asked if he could slice my pickle.  Answer:  "No."  Here is where things got really freaky.

ME:  I'd be happy to slice my own pickle, but you can't give me a knife.  You have a knife right next to you.  Why can't you slice my pickle?

JJ employee:  I can slice it into quarters or halves, but I can't cut off small slices.

ME:  Why?

JJ employee:  It's our policy.

Are you kidding me?!?  Jimmy John's actually has a policy prohibiting their employees from slicing a pickle even if the customer asks them to!  I talked to the store manager and he confirmed that was Jimmy John's policy.  He gave me the number of the district manager who also confirmed Jimmy John's official corporate policy prohibits the slicing of pickles.  Apparently there is an exception for slicing it into quarters or halves.

Last night I went to Jimmy John's Facebook page to post a comment about my experience.  Incredibly, another customer who wanted his pickle sliced and was told no had already beat me to it (sliced pickle lovers of the world unite!).  At this point, I thought my opinion of Jimmy John's couldn't sink any lower, but their response to this other sliced pickle loving customer did the trick.  They actually belittled the guy and made fun of his name!  Here is the post.

Really, I am not obsessing about this.  Actually, I find the whole thing hilarious.  Sort of like I was able to personally experience the Seinfeld Soup Nazi episode.  And how many people (other than me and Ray Jones Jr.) can say that?  Thanks Jimmy John's.